Do You Know You?

Do you have a real and true idea of who you are and what you like? If someone were to sit you down right now and ask you "who are you?" what would you say? In full transparency, this question was always so hard for me to answer. We innately begin to define ourselves by our accomplishments. You're asked this question and you answer "I am a mother", "I am a daughter", if you're married "I'm a wife", if you're a CEO "I'm a CEO". However, this isn't who "you" really are. Yes these things may help to form some of the foundation of who you are but at the core it isn't the definition of you.

You have to truly sit in this, if you didn't have all of those things who would you be. Would you be a man or woman of faith, would you be a leader or a follower and if you're a leader what is it about you that defines those characteristics. Are you a good listener, if someone comes to you to express how they feel or get your opinion on something are you able to listen. Are you an empathetic person, do you give empathy to others without judgement? I could go on and on with descriptive words and definitions to help you understand where I'm going with this but our definition of who we are, our real likes and dislikes (not what we were taught to like and dislike), how we live our lives all starts with understanding ourselves.

We go day by day living by the standards of the world, defining ourselves by what others say is the norm in society and afraid of disappointing other people that we never truly learn who we are, what we want and we definitely struggle with the ability to articulate it to others. We answer this question of "who are you" with answers we believe others want to hear versus truly answering with honesty and transparency, there is this fear of true authenticity. Last weeks blog post was on triggers and do you know your triggers and I said part of knowing your triggers and understanding them would fall into how well you know yourself.

I am a 41 year old single divorcee and I can honestly say that I am continuing to learn more and more about who I am from year to year, especially as I date. At forty ones years old I know myself more today than I ever have in my entire life. It isn't defined by family, friendships or even a mate. Through marriage and then divorce followed by years of dating, I can sincerely say that this has helped me dig into a place of true authenticity of who I am. The authenticity of who I am at my core isn't going to always be pretty, it isn't always going to be loved or even liked but because I am so comfortable with who I am I don't have to strive to be "loved" or "accepted". I just strive to do things that are pleasing to God and also live in a way that I know leaves an impact. I have learned that I don't have to fit the "standard", I can march to my own drum, I can articulate how I feel, I can disagree, I can cry, I can be transparent. I allow myself to be alone with myself and it has allowed me to learn "who I am". You don't have to be surrounded by a bunch of people patting you on your back or helping you to define you. I highly suggest that you take the time out to truly understand this question "Who am I?". Get on a road to self discovery and break down the meat and the bones of what it is to be you in this world. You should be able to answer this question without pulling in things you have done versus just being able to know yourself.

Spend time asking yourself this question everyday. Who am I?

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